Seems like we're all pretty much the same person...

In my hypnotherapy work, I've found over and over that clients come to me to eliminate a specific situation or behavior from their lives.  For some it is tobacco, for others, excess weight, really a very broad range of behavioral changes that are desired.  But almost every time, what they come for is a SYMPTOM of the underlying causative challenge.Across the board, regardless of why they believe they are there, regardless of age, gender, or any other factor, the underlying causation is so similar from one client to the next,  that it would be difficult to say where one starts and the other begins.In my conversations with these clients, they often seem surprised that 'their particular situation' is not horribly unique.  Many are visibly shocked when I explain that almost everyone who I've worked with, has a story that is 80-90% the same, in terms of life situations that installed a challenge they want to overcome.Because I do a lot of work with weight loss, utilizing a Virtual Gastric Band,  I want to focus on two parent installed programs that are so common as to be predictable.The Clean Plate Club-  Well meaning parents for decades have told their children, "Clean up your plate, be a big boy (or girl)!   and then are surprised when their boy or girl in fact grows up to BE a big boy or girl.To compound the damage of this one, the reward for cleaning up your plate is often desert.What this actually teaches a child, is that the clean plate is a more accurate measure of the amount of food they need in any one sitting than the messages from their body that  they are being encouraged to ignore, that are telling them that they are full.So many people go through life disregarding the intelligence of their bodies, overstuff themselves to get to clean plate status...then just like mom did, they reward themselves with desert.Food as a salve for any boo-boo-  I've not met anyone yet, who did not learn that there is no boo-boo (physical, mental, emotional or spiritual) that ice cream, a piece of pie or cake won't sooth.You fall off your bike, and the parent who rushes to comfort you says something like... "Oh honey, let's get you some ice cream!  That will make you feel better!"... so we learn that when we're hurt, upset, angry, or really at any time, a big 'treat' will make us feel better.I'd encourage you, if you are a parent, to look at yourself to see if you are teaching these things to your kids, and if you are, STOP IT! :)Additionally, my overall observation is that there are so many people who have been had their self concept diminished by being whittled away by loved ones, parents, teachers, clergy, spouses/former spouses... some to the point where they don't see any value when they look in the mirror, some who feel as if they don't have any (or very few) redeeming features, and are destined to be unloved and deserve to be unloved.For the most part though, these same people are absolute warriors.  Despite all that they carry, they are walking forward day-by-day, doing what needs to be done, caring for their children and/or family members, being productive and functioning.It really gives me great joy though, when I can help clients to see that the image that others have carved out of who they truly are is an illusion, and that it is not at all accurate.  The bonus is to be able to help them to get to full power, full brilliance.  They seem to shine a bit brighter and walk more proudly, when they get a glimpse of who they truly are.At the end of each session, I feel honored that they've trusted me with what are in some cases stories that they may not have told anyone else in their lives, I feel humbled that I get to help them facilitate some healing, some new direction, some return to full power, and consequently some better, more desirable and desired outcomes.I'm always happy to have those confidential conversations as people are considering making some changes in their lives.   The initial consultations are Free and without any pressure. 

Alignment and Resistance....

As 2016 headed into the home stretch, as I do every year, I spent some time reflecting on the year almost gone, and then some additional time setting my intentions for the new beginning that landed on January 1st.  This year, I've also set a goal of clearing the decks in every storage area, every file cabinet, every hard drive.  It is not totally unlike the excavation of my Journals I've been working through.  The reward from that effort has been quite a few of the blog posts that precede this one.So far, the return on investment as I make my way, file-by-file, drawer-by-drawer, shelf-by-shelf has been multi-part, and I'm not close to done. I've discovered things I've written, photos I've taken, memories that had faded that when rediscovered put a smile on my face or reminded me of parts of my process that worked so well, I stopped using them.Those who know me won't be surprised that as I sort and shift and pitch things, my mind is busy.  Looking at why I've saved the things I'm finding.  Discerning whether it's  a nugget worth keeping, or something that is recyclable,  whether it needs to be passed along to another person or whether it is purely stored garbage.But on deeper levels,  I worked through the process looking at how I wished to begin 2017 and then to make it the most powerful year possible. My desire to reach and assist as many clients as possible.  Wanting to expand my teaching and workshop schedules to help the attendees reach levels of living that they've not been certain were attainable.Another part of the process appears to be an endless process of self-evaluation.  Measuring whether my actions and goals are in alignment to see if I'm living as the highest version of myself (or perhaps making sure I'm moving in that direction).  I found that as I look at the level of internal alignment, it is sometimes easy to see where it's out of whack, purely on the basis of my own resistance.Whether that resistance shows up as a too quiet appointment book, symptoms of less than stellar health, energy levels that might not be optimal, or whether I just feel out of sorts, grumpy or angry, those are all signs to me that I need to take a step back, go within, spend some time reconnecting, meditating and remembering to fly higher and have that big picture in my view.Many teachers over the years have in one way or another sharpened my awareness that the things that bother me the most about other people and situations can be the things that I dislike about myself.  The people and situations in my life are holding up a mirror for me to look into, and the level of resistance I feel toward them, is at least equal to the resistance I have toward one or more aspects of my own life.As the process rolls along, I've found deeper pockets within myself of uncertainty and resistance than I thought I would at this point in my life.  The ongoing questioning of direction, desire, intention, value and so much more. Even as I sit in a Florida condo on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean, realizing how incredibly lucky I am.It's been a time of revisiting choices and outcomes.  A time of looking at the results I'm experiencing  with an eye on which of my actions, thoughts and beliefs might need a tweak to get closer to the outcomes and experiences I've been desiring.More importantly, there is a realization that I no longer want to delay my joy until some arbitrary measuring has been exceeded or some goal met.  I'm 63  years old... old enough to suspect that I have fewer years ahead than I have behind.  Objective enough to realize that by almost any measure, I'm living a pretty outstanding life.My challenge (let's be real, ONE of my challenges, and challenges can be accurately called choices too) is to allow myself to by happy with where I am, with whatever human frailties and faults I might have.  To be actively IN each moment and experience, to take every ounce of joy that I can find.  To laugh more, love more, to allow myself more simple pleasures, and to lessen the amount of harsh judgement I hold for myself and others.There is plenty of room for improvement  in this area.  But even looking at that fact is related to resistance and likely bumps me out of alignment.  Hmmmm.  Is that the circle of life.Please feel free to comment with ways that you stay in alignment, and reduce your resistance!!    

Audio Blog: Recorded Segments from Answered Prayers by Julia Cameron.

Answered Prayers: Love Letters from the Divine by Julia Cameron is one of my very favorite books.As the title implies, it is suggested that the reader approach each of the segments as a personal letter to them from God.I've used this book in classes, workshops, speaking engagements and even at weddings and funerals were I've been the officiant.In February of 2016, I started the process of recording some of the sections of the book.  I had no idea why I wanted to do this project. I also had no idea if or how I would ever use the recordings.Interestingly, there have been a lot of times where a conversation provided a nudge that one recording or another, might be helpful to the person, so I've shared it.I have no idea if I'm breaking any sort of laws by making and sharing the recordings.  But I give full credit to the author for creating the work, I am not intending to make any money off these recording, so I'm thinking that I'm ok.Below are links for the three recordings that deal with death and loss.  They are the recordings I have shared most often, with people I know who have experienced some  sort of great loss in their lives.Click Here to be taken to a page on my website where the recordings are waiting for you. I hope you enjoy them.   

Wasting Away on the Ocean

Like so many people I know, I've spent much of my life defining myself by what I do for a living. Judging myself based primarily on what I manage to 'accomplish' on any given day. So busy has been my normal state, and if I'm not busy, I start to twitch.

That, on quite a few levels, has worked well enough for me. It allowed me to build a successful real estate business and is helping me build my Hypnotherapy Practice. That drive also compelled me to serve on industry related committees, boards of directors and in various positions in the church I (occasionally) attend.

Over the last 5-years, there's been a new part of my annual schedule that has been both wonderful and also twitch inducing. Beth and I now spend February and March in a condo on the Atlantic Ocean on Hutchinson Island Florida. It is lovely! It is beautiful! To have morning coffee or evening cocktails overlooking the always changing, always powerful, always beautiful ocean, is remarkable.

I've known for a very long time that I never feel as close and connected to my source as I do in the presence of large water. It doesn't matter if it is Lake Michigan, the Atlantic or the Pacific... I'm at home. I'm able to have conversations with whomever I talk to in those times, that are unlike any other conversation I have in a different location.

That's the wonderful part. The twitch enters the picture when the lack of structure collides with my DNA induced need to be busy and productive. I can put my feet up and read a good novel for a while. I can even watch re-runs of TV shows for a time. But I reach the point fairly soon, where I want to DO something. To produce something... to take some regular steps toward whatever goal is near the top of the current list.

So it is that need that has me sitting on the patio of a Starbucks this morning, banging away on my IPad keyboard.

It has been almost 10-years since I got the urge to write. It started with journals. Lots and lots of journals. Then gradually with starts and stops, graduated to Blogging. 1st in the Real Estate sector, now more in a 'tales from the journey' sort of way.

I have frustrated myself greatly due to my lack of actual progress in this area. I write things, read them and hit the delete key. I sit down to write and am hit with the question I've come to find is common for authors... the question of "what do I possibly have to say that anyone would want to read?"

But my inner guidance, and some consultations with friends, and coaches have assured me that there are books to write, and that they are (mostly) patiently waiting for me to sit down, to become quiet and to make a committment, and then to allow the words to flow through me to the page.

This is likely no different than any number of experiences I've wrestled with over the decades. The tug toward stepping out of the carefully crafted box I've kept myself in, for a lot of reasons (not all of them valid). Then the internal discussion about the reasons why I should go for it, with the counter-conversation of all the reasons it's a bad idea.

Intellectually, I know and believe that the only real limits I have, are the limits I place on myself, or to a much lesser degree, allow others in my life to place upon me. But with that group, it is still my choice to accept the suggested limit as my own (or not).

Let me speak to that last group 1st. I believe that each person who offered up self limiting beliefs for me to consider, did not offer them in a malicious way. I believe that in their own way, they were offering me what they thought was in my best interest. To protect me, to keep me from going down a path that they believed was not suited for me. In some cases, I've wondered if their best instincts and intentions might have been slightly influenced by their desire to 'help me' stay where I was vs. becoming who I might be. Again, not in a malicious way, but rather perhaps in a "I'm comfortable with where we are, who Eric is, and I fear that if he grows and goes where he might, that he won't have room for me in his life any longer".

So for me, it becomes about making sure that those who are incredibly important in my life know and believe that they re that important, and that regardless of what the next section of the Journey brings, that will not change. But it also becomes about me having enough belief in myself that that I step out and step up and get to work on those things that have been presenting to me.

As if to speak to this situation, a lizard of some kind sort of stopped by. I was typing away, and as I often do, I was looking at my surroundings. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw some movement and looked over to see a foot long lizard step off the curb into the driveway. He did what looked like a couple of pushups and then rolled over on his back, motionless.

Thankfully there were no cars entering or exiting at that moment because he laid there longer than seemed smart. I couldn't look away. Part in fascination and wonder, but also wondering what the heck was going to become of this little guy.

So after several long moments, he popped up, rolled back over and scampered on his way.

I don't think that anyone else on the patio noticed this little drama that unfolded, so as I'm prone to, I attempted to look a touch deeper to see if there was something other than a what the heck moment in this.

And of course, I cannot be 100% sure, as the little guy did not come talk to me like the Gecko from Geico might, but sometimes, things present to us to show us a reflection of things in our life.

If I assume that to be true in this case, I looked at it to see what he might have been saying.

Here's what I came up with. After what from my view, was a mild exertion, he was exhausted... rolled over and was seemingly done. Despite the fact that he was laying in a somewhat dangerous position, given the possibility of a car rolling over him, he was not concerned. He laid there as long as he needed to, then got up and went about his business.

When I look at what I was writing at the time, and how I've had such resistance to sitting down and writing on any predictable schedule, when I think about how I've assigned the concept of 'hard work' to a lot of what really has just been life unfolding, there seems to be a possible parallel to the several pushups the lizard did.

So I've decided to take the part where he got up and scampered on his way as the message to take forward.

It's time to get up...and get underway. No obstacles. No false beliefs of not being worthy. AS a dear friend advised me a while back... "Stop dickin' around".

So this is me... doing that now.

Getting into the flow by letting go of the oars...

From the archives, written originally on September 2, 2009.I was fairly freshly single after 30 years of marriage and in the process of defining/re-defining what the 2nd 1/2 of this lifetime looked like.This was a writing that came from a session of working in my Akashic Record.  (visit my website, www.RedefiningSuccess.net for a history and description of Akashic Records)In any case, where a section is labeled ESW, that is where I am asking a question.  The sections labeled MTL are the responses from the Masters, Teachers and Loved Ones answering via The Akashic Record.__________________________

ESW~ If I write here that I release the need I've had for massive control for minute details of how... do you take the oars?MTL~ YesESW~ Then I bless and release the details of my life into Divine Hands.I trust that what is in my heart's fondest desires is delivered to me.I believe that my role is to envision the big picture & walk peacefully & joyfully into my life.My stress level drops like a rock.My self-doubt and self loathing fall away as erroneous illusions, that are no longer needed.I live in the moment- am beautiful, healthy and strong.Abundance that until now seemed beyond my grasp arrives daily in Divine Order.I am peaceful, joyful, loving and whole. I express these gifts of God fully and completely.And so it is. 

ESW~ I've declared my intention to drop the oars- to turn the management and details over to Spirit, and yet I find myself living more in my head than I would like. 1st is my perception of that running some interference real? 2nd- how do I practice and master turning off my brain and being totally in the moment?MTL~ You ask great questions. Yes- if you were totally in the moment- the thoughts and beliefs that take you out of the moment- and seemingly keep you from TOTALLY experiencing the moment would not exist. To get there takes practice.1st- know that you are always completely protected. So you don't need to be so wary. Know that no ulterior motives exist- and you are totally safe- in all things. Focus on love, focus on feeling. State an intention of being. NOT DOING. Focus on how joyful you can become in every situation.Eric, there is no one who can or even wants to harm you in any way. And really, even if they did, it cannot happen.As you take time for the important aspects of your life, the mundane details are handled.END>I came to understand that my tendency, which appears to be pretty common with people, was to jump into my canoe, point it upstream and then to paddle like crazy, against the current.  To then get frustrated when I made little or no forward progress.I was told that everything I want or need is actually downstream, and if I turned the canoe around, put down the paddle, got in the flow, the current would take me where I wanted to go.Seems pretty simple.  So I did that, and found it to be a less tiring and frustrating way to go.This ongoing excavation of the old journals is rewarding for me.  On one hand, it's a map of the journey and the progress I've made  in various areas.  But I'm finding meditations, stories, tools that were powerfully helpful to me at the time.  Things that worked so well I quit using them.  That now, I can circle back to, for my own use, and to put the ideas out in this blog, or as recordings in the Free Tools area of my website, or as handouts to clients and class attendees.In the light of all the seeming division and controversy in our world and country at the present moment, it is more of a challenge than normal for me to not paddle upstream.  So each day, I take a series of deep breaths.  I attempt (sometimes successfully) to focus on the things that are truly important to me, to support what is good and right, to gently, without throwing gas on the fire, to add my voice, constructively in opposition to the many things that are being suggested that would take us in a very wrong direction.

If it doesn't fit.... get rid of that S***.

From my many decades as a Realtor, I know that stuff grows to fill the available space. From my even more years as a human, I know that what is accepted becomes the normal and sometimes if reasonable boundaries are not set and maintained, even than normal can slide into areas that are not actually tolerable.So far this fall, there's been a fairly active purge going on in several areas of my life.  At the farm, we invited a junk man to come haul away (literally) a ton or more of old equipment that had been busily rusting on the sidelines for too long.  Our weekly trash container is being topped off with items that are trash that had been accumulating here and there.  We began (and continue) a process of appropriately eliminating a seeming lifetime collection of old paint cans.There were multiple trips to our favorite charity store and if I had to guess there will be several more.At my office, I'm going through overstuffed storage closets and file cabinets and bit by bit am eliminating lots of things that don't need to enter a new year in my possession.Today I  dropped off some Real Estate videos to a friend at the Company where I keep my real estate license.  As I exited the building, I had 'a moment'.  It dawned on me that for a wide variety of reasons, it was no longer the space that I was excited to join, and to spend time in.  It served as a confirmation of the rightness of decisions I made almost a year ago, and the changes I'm working on in how I spend the hours of my day.The level of discomfort I felt, even walking into the space and doing what I needed to do was powerful.  Not  a feeling I'll seek out often.Don't get me wrong, there are still some wonderful, amazing, hard-working, deeply caring people there.  It's just not where I now want or need to be.  That's some remarkable clarity right there, especially because for almost 28-years, I have defined myself primarily by the work I did in that (or other, similar) environments.As I was driving back across town to my Lifestyle Engineer office, I was thinking about what I had felt, thinking about the cause, doing a bit of compare and contrast and asking myself some additional questions.Questions that will have me extending the process of evaluation, of adjusting priorities, of designing the next stages of my business and my life.  A part of that process also necessarily involves looking at all the ancillary aspects of all of that to see if there are anchors that I'm dragging along, if I'm holding beliefs that are not serving me well, and if so, eliminating them.It's not the first time I've done a process of getting very clear and very committed to picking up each piece and determining what is and is not a good fit.  What serves my highest good and what does not.  Then lifting up and prioritizing what fits and what moves me forward (and also what moves forward with me) and placing on a shelf or eliminating anything and everything that sucks up energy without adding something of value.As I clear the clutter from my closet, my files, storage areas, garage, computers,  my mind and my life, I know that the flow of energy improves significantly with each step of the process.  As the things that no longer serve a meaningful purpose fade from view, there is energy and room to create a different outcome.What better time than approaching the end of the year to clear the decks, and to make certain that when the new year dawns, I'm travelling light, ready for the adventures I've envisioned... and then to make work of creating the outcomes I desire.Join me?  

Weary....oh so weary

Day in and day out we are being bombarded with unsettling messages from every direction.  Some are political, some are seemingly non-political about how broken things are, and who is responsible for breaking them.The daily news seems to offer mostly spin and 'entertainment' rather than fact based, unbiased NEWS.  It's a part of their name... yet it seems hard to find.Way too often there is a story about someone or some group of people taking lives.  Sometimes it's one-on-one, sometimes it's one on many, sometimes it is much more.Even though, I make an effort to not click through to sites, I know are primarily propaganda from right or left.  Even though I really do attempt to limit my consumption of 'news' in general, by the end of the day I am weary.  To the bone, put my head under my pillow and pray it all goes away weary.I'm confident that the vast majority feel much the same way.  Yet it continues.  Yet it seems to actually be getting worse.

At what point, do we declare ENOUGH!  (seems like too much already, yet we've not declared ENOUGH yet)  At what point, do we let our news outlets know that their editorials should be labelled as such, that we don't need them to be charming and cute, that we want our news accurate, free of nonsense, delivered by intelligent people with no hidden (or obvious) agenda.Do we need to write letters?  Call or write sponsors to pressure them to demand better?  How do we become a factual, reality based people.  Have we ever been that? Or is that a delusion I need to work on?It might be helpful if we remembered one of my favorite quotes, attributed to Shirdi Sai Baba, who said:"Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it true, is it necessary, does it improve upon the silence?"

~Shirdi Sai Baba

Sadly, for much of what is printed, broadcasted, tweeted, written and shared the answer would be NO for each question.

I struggle almost every day to not engage in counterproductive exchanges of ideas that lead only to anger and frustration.  Sometimes I will type a response, or share an item online, only to have second (and third) thoughts.  Then I often double back and hit the delete button.When I do see news sources and outlandish claims posted, I attempt to determine the validity of the information or the source that it came from.  There are new websites and sources popping up every day it seems.  In many cases, it appears that they either have no acquaintance with facts and truth, or that their purpose is primarily to stir the pot by spreading manure.

I've read that those who stir the shit pot, should have to lick the spoon. I can only hope that is true, and that I'm successful in not being that guy.

In a few short weeks, the election will be behind us.  Some will be happy with the outcomes, some will not.  I wonder though, will we be able to put the genie back in the bottle and attempt to pull together, to act like we're all in this together regardless of how we worship (or don't) who we love, what we think.  That regardless of the pigment in our skin tones, whether we lean right or left, whether we live in a large city, a small town or in the country.. that WE have to somehow find a way to respect each other, to work together for the common good, to respect each other and to lift each other up.The chasm that has been created (or made significantly worse depending on your world view) is not impossible to bridge, but I suggest we get started NOW.

Drawing a line.... exercises in exorcising the self-limiting ghosts of the past

Fall of 2011, I was doing a lot of self-awareness and self-improvement work.  My meditation life was robust and regular. Sometimes it involved writing the insights and assignments that were a result of the meditative conversations that took place.It was a time of deep introspection, mid-life evaluation, deep healing and forgiveness of self and others (see the earlier post about Transformational Forgiveness).There had been a marriage of nearly 30-years that I ended, and a couple of subsequent relationships that helped to move me closer to being ready for my current life and marriage to Beth.On a fall day in 2011, my focus was making sure that any loose ends from my life to date and from past relationships were cleaned up to the point where I would not be dragging old baggage and brokenness as I moved forward.So I asked to be shown a way to effectively draw a line and leave the past in the past, to feel love and gratitude for each person who had played a guest appearance or long running character in my life.I was shown that it was incredibly easy.  The instructions were to draw a line to demark the present moment, then to feel myself stepping beyond that line with no need  or desire to look back.Then with each player in the scenes that came before to individually sit down and have a soul-to-soul conversation.In this conversation the goal was to kindly and gently, express my gratitude for the part they played in my life, but also to say anything and everything that I needed them to know to complete the conversation with each person.The conversations allowed me to come back across the line into the present, without dragging old things into the present.I remember the shift I felt as that old baggage was left behind the line.  The lightness, the joyfulness, the peace.My understanding and belief is that even though these conversations take place on a soul-to-soul level, and that no audible words are spoken, the conversation partner receives the messages that I deliver.  Like any conversation, it can certainly be interactive, so it's good to go carefully and pay attention to any feedback that is given.It is important to remember that it really does not matter what they do or don't do upon the completion of YOUR work.  This is an exercise that is 100% about you.  So be joyful in your accomplishment!  Allow yourself to FEEL, really feel what you felt, the peace you feel and celebrate the honest way that you shared.

Fall of 2016- 5-years seems like a good time for me to take a little time, and revisit this exercise that was so very helpful to me in 2011.Like so many things I've seen and done in my personal and business life, this is one of those tools that worked so very well that I quit using it.I'm grateful to the process of writing this blog, that things that I've known, worked with, had success with are resurfacing in a new time and space to allow me to take a look, to self assess if it would be helpful to put them back to work.This one, without even going through an formal process of evaluation is going to come off the bench and go back into active duty in my life.I hope that it plays a role in some of the lives of people who are reading. 

Many wise and wonderful women who touched my life and who I'm proud to call friends...(and one I'm happy to call Mrs.)

Little Sable Eric

SR Eric Beach

The other day I ran into an old friend that I'd not seen or talked to in a number of years. Back in another time and place we were quite close and for a variety of reasons, we went in different directions.It was really good to see her!  We chatted for a little while, it was nice to see that she was doing well.Since then I've been mentally looking back, to that friendship and several others... replaying the highlight reels, remembering the kindnesses shown, the conversations that took place.  Some of them just pure fun, some of them that served to shift my view of the world perhaps, or at least my view of myself, at a time where my world had dramatically changed, and my self-concept needed a bit of objective feedback to become a bit more accurate and reality based.The three faces that float back in for a re-visit are all three beautiful faces.  One is the face of a 25+ year friend who I still see, but not nearly often enough.  Another is a wise and beautiful soul who completed her journey in the last year or so.   The other is a lovely woman that I dated for a year or so, before Beth and I re-connected after 40-years, discovered that love sometimes grows in places we don't expect, fell in love, married and are now in the happily ever after part of the program.Wonderful Friend #1: A trip to the beach with a dear friend..   at some point in a group of friends, the conversation turned to the fact that despite the proximity to Lake Michigan we all enjoyed, we didn't get to the beach nearly often enough.My friend turned to me and said something like... we should plan a day, go to the beach, have a picnic, do some writing and meditation.  Then quickly added that she was not 'hitting on me'...which made us both laugh.So we put a late September outing in our calendars.The day came it was an unusually warm, beautiful day. We had the beach all to ourselves.  She'd packed a lovely, healthy basket and we sat in the dunes near Little Sable Point Lighthouse and talked and laughed, walked the beach, wrote & generally shared space and stories with each other.With her intelligence, kindness, keen observations (& the photo she took of me that day), she help me gain a new perspective and a new,  more accurate view of who I am.RIP Marianne.  You have a special place in my heart and my history.WONDERFUL FRIEND #2: The best Symphony 'Date' EVER!Sadly there is not a photo that captures this one.  She's been a friend since the late 1980's.  We worked at the same Real Estate Company then. Both of us moved on to other things, and there were some years where we were not in contact.As I look back, I realize that some of the best conversations I had in the late 1980's and early 1990's were sitting in her office.She asked me hard questions about my direction, my choices and my life.  She nudged me in directions that I wasn't apparently ready to go, but never lost faith.  She encouraged me to honor myself and trust what I knew to be true.We reconnected as my life was in the middle of dramatic change.At some point we decided that we would go to dinner  at the 1913 Grill (so sad that it is gone) and to the Grand Rapids Symphony to hear Beethoven's 9th Symphony.  Dinner included martinis, sumptuous food, stimulating conversation and great anticipation of the performance to come.  Then arm-in-arm we strolled down the sidewalk to DeVos Hall and took our seats.  I'm guessing we made a fairly striking couple.I love a big choral work when I can get one, so as the Ode to Joy was getting ready to begin, I had to physically ground myself into my seat.  I'd listened to this work so many times I knew I was about to go into sensory overload... and I wanted to be ready.  I think I may have looked like the guy in the ad for the speakers where his hair is being blown back. There was so much beauty and richness going on that I had to close my eyes, lest my systems short out from the overload.Over a nightcap at the Lumber Baron Room, before we each went to our homes, she told me that she'd not seen anyone do the serious prep and hunkering down to get ready for some powerful music, as I had.It was such a lovely, easy, evening.  All senses sated.  It is a night I will remember warmly until my final day. (many years from now :) )I have a lot of 'favorite' events in my life.  That evening, is quite high on the list.BONUS: Beth and I have enjoyed some dinner/performance evenings with this lovely woman.  I'm happy to report that the two of them also hit it off.Over those years, she saw in me things I wouldn't allow myself to see.  She gently and patiently held up a mirror and challenged me to look deeply within it to see the reality.  We've laughed and cried together, sometimes within minutes of each other.  She has been, is and will continue to be one of those friends that you treasure so deeply, you cannot imagine a life in which they do not play a significant role.Who doesn't have room in their life for a person who is so incredibly warm, generous, intelligent, kind, well travelled, smart and supportive.  I am honored to call her friend.WONDERFUL FRIEND #3: Now the story about the catalyst for this reflection... the woman I ran into unexpectedly last weekend.We connected via a dating site, very likely too early in newly almost single life (while the divorce was overdue to be completed).  One of the dating site photos of me that captured her attention, is the one above, taken at an area where her family had vacationed for years when she was growing up.We saw each other for a little over a year.  We enjoyed so many of the same things and had conversations every time we were together that were intense, enjoyable, paradigm shifting and much more.She is a Child Psychologist, and I used to laugh that given how childish I can be, it was a perfect fit.If I'm being honest, as a college dropout who believed that made me somewhat intellectually inferior, the PhD part intimidated me a bit.  For most of my life, I'd figured I was average or possibly below average on the intelligence scale.   But among the many things this woman showed me was that despite my false belief, I was not 'less than' anyone I encounter in my life.Among her many gifts, she was also a wonderful photographer.  On two occasions we ventured out and she shot a bunch of photos of me.  At the beach, in my garden, in my Ministerial Robes... and while I've never liked having my photo taken, when she and I reviewed the photos, I saw myself in a totally different light than I'd ever seen.  Her keen eyes, great talent and her verbal narrative of what she saw in those photos were powerful for me.To this day,  they are some of my favorite photos.  I still sometimes hear her voice and words in my head.  Words that remind me of what I allow myself to forget, words that help me keep putting one foot in front of the other.These are three examples of wonderful people who have stepped into my life at various times.  They are part of a very long list of people I'm so incredibly grateful to know.On the overall, I realize that if I can live in a space where I can look for and see the beauty in good times and bad, and can remember that each of the people who have come into my life have done so at my request to play whatever part we have agreed to play together, for a wide variety of reasons, it makes the sweet times sweeter, and changes my perception the challenging times and people, and puts me in gratitude even for them.  

From the Archives 12/5/2010... And so we begin

The essence of this book is to help the initiate to know and believe, to trust and to grow in their connection to Spirit.

Each of us comes into a physical life with a wonderful group of angelic attendants who watch over us, who know the ‘big picture’ and contracts that are in play for our lives.What most don’t realize- or more accurately, don’t remember, is that you really planned and scripted every event, every character in your life.

That can be a head scratching concept when you experience what you perceive as ‘pain’ or ‘sadness’.  When in reality, each act, each outcome is a gift, a reflection of your creators perfect love, and belief in you as a Divine Being.

For you to get to the point where you recognize this as truth, and to be able to look closely, without bias, at each player and act, to see why you wrote it the way you did, to realize that the players who present you with pain do so, at your request to help you achieve some outcome you want changes everything.

In my life, I recently discovered that there was a person, who lifetime after lifetime loved me enough to agree to be a person who stabbed me in the back, leaving all sorts of knives, daggers and axes behind as reminders, as burrs under my saddle to get me to look for the lesson.It turns out, the multiple lifetime process was designed to get me to claim my full power as a Divine being.  To get me where I shed the collection of weapons that were in my body and accept a spirit of thankfulness that this person loved me enough to do this difficult work.

It was interesting to see how the nature of that relationship changed as the weapons were removed, and the gratitude was expressed.  The relationship now feels as if the reason we were in each other’s lives has been satisfied and it feels very likely that we now go on our separate directions, but without regret, without anger, but with a spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving.

The experience with this person has been a catalyst for re-examining the basis of other relationships to see how the ‘new’ perspective may shed light on what has appeared as dark or broken.

I am finding that in almost every case, there is good reason to shift from disappointment or anger to gratitude,  grace and thanksgiving. 

How powerful is that? To realize that every player in my life is delivered to me important information and wonderful teachings. To know that if I recognize them as such will help me live as the best, true to my purpose self I can be.

Being thankful for the gifts they bring feels much better than what I previously felt.So in the long run, to step out of the need to be right, to win, to control, serves each person beautifully.If instead, I can dwell in a state of peace and grace, looking for lessons in all I find, looking at every other energy I meet as being part of Source for my journey will be blessed.

Many times we miss obvious but gentle messages because they are so subtle, so the Universe has to double back with a stronger hand to get our attention. But when you live from your heart and spend time each day away from the distractions that interrupt your real life, you will find that quiet place, that peaceful place where you have a direct perfect connection to Source and therefore your truth.

That space will become so comfortable for you, so nurturing that you will want to spend more and more time there, and eventually will find your way to live in that state at all times- as you go about attending to the details in your life.

For me, the evidence that I was spending at least some of my time there, was confirmed by a good number of people in my external life who without any prompting, commented on my apparent peacefulness, my radiant glow, how good they always felt when in my presence.It makes me wonder if, as more and more people approach their peacefulness if we will see evidence in the world of spreading peacefulness.That will be a huge blessing!

I accuse myself of spending entirely too much time in my head, over thinking things. But I am finding the reality to be something different from that.

I do evaluate, contemplate and replay various aspects of my life, but now it feels more like I’m making certain that I always am in alignment.  I will recognize it quickly when only a slight adjustment is needed to re-align. 

8/11/2016

While I'm revisting my old journals, it's proving to be a really good reminder of some of the roads I've travelled, some of the lessons I've learned and maybe most importantly, the tools and meditations that I've discovered along the way.

Those were some wild days.  Not necessarily in the fun, crazy acting behavior wild... but with large and small changes in every aspect of my life.I did discover that for me, it became a time to examine my internal and external world.  To clean out my garage, my storage areas, my closet, my heart, my mind, my relationships.In all those areas there can be things that cannot make the rest of the journey, and for the good of everyone involved, honoring the completion of that relationship is what has to happen.

A Mexican Moment of Clarity 2009

Another writing, pulled from the archives. This from a solo trip as an almost divorced man in 2009 to Mazatlan Mexico.

So sitting in the sand, I gave thanks- for all the love and support I'd been given all the time that had been provided, all the insights that had been shared.  Insights that propelled me down my path to this beautiful and peaceful place.It was quite a moment!As I walked back to my resort, I was calf deep in the Pacific.  Feeling that with each wave, I was washed and purified, but more than that, I was refreshed, replenished and renewed.You see, there was room now, without all the stored up pain, anger, bitterness and fear gone, for new energy, love, light and joy to move into those spaces.  I visualized the power of the ocean washing me clean and filling me completely.It's been over a week since this epiphany and I can say honestly that the glow I feel is growing, the joy I recognize in my life is great, and answers to some of my nagging questions have floated in.Life is, as my friend Jim Campbell says; "Better and Better."

Now back to 2016:As I excavate through old journals, it's interesting for me to read about what I was thinking, experiencing, learning over those years.For me, there are good reminders of how rich and juicy life can be when I allow it.While I don't want to go back and experience much of what happened then, I'm grateful that all of it did happen... which doesn't suggest that I did not choose every bit of it, I was not a bystander to the process, I created it... walked through it... survived it...learned from it.  There are reminders of things I've allowed myself to forget or to stop doing.So just as I'm reminded of some truths that were revealed about me and about my life, it is my hope that something in these words that I share, will support what you are doing, will provide a little light for your journey.It's good for me to look back, if only to see how far I've come.  It's a huge reminder of how incredibly fortunate I am, and how grateful I am  for the life I currently enjoy.Blessings! Written 7/29/2016

From the archives... 4/10/2009

I continue to go back through old writing, certainly not to re-live painful old times or to travel back in any way.  I'm in search of those parts of my life and the words that I wrote at various times that might be important parts of my book; The Road to Happyville.Here's one I rediscovered today.Yesterday a settlement was reached and the lawyers are drafting the final documents. In two weeks, the divorce will be final.I celebrated with one small glass of single malt scotch, great conversation - love and support.Today, despite a restful night's sleep, I woke up exhausted.  I wondered if it was a couple of later than usual nights in a row, but realized that I was not only tired but felt as if I'd been run over by a truck.A single word floated through my mind... AFTERMATH.  Of course!  At this moment, other than those last signatures, we are done.  Completed.  And my body, mind and spirit at once felt the drain that the last year has been.Later in the day I spoke with a dear friend of 20+ years who had held the light for me long before I knew that there was even a light to hold.  A woman of great wisdom, strength, intelligence and compassion.  As I shared the good news- the tears once again made their way to the surface.  More and more gut wrenching sobs, like the ones that were common a year ago when I began the divorce.But the voice on the line reminded me of the load that I had carried. Parts of it since childhood, other parts for decades- the need to walk my walk with confidence- to be open and honest about who I am and where I am going- but to be outwardly strong, perhaps a bit TOO insistent that 'it's all good', 'I'm great!'.  I was reminded that it was a long and heavy train I was dragging- and that NOW was the time to see what parts needed to be set aside- to lighten the load from my back.I've grown to respect the truth that if you listening, your questions will be answered.  That when you are ready, the teacher will appear.Every step of the last 5-years has been shaped by those who have been put on my path, some to walk with me, some to walk away from me,  others to ask wonderful questions- still others to lead me to the wisdom and answers that I already possess.As I hung up the phone, I knew that the tears that filled my eyes were only the tip of the supply-  with the Mozart Requiem playing in my ears, I made work of blessing and releasing- of acknowledging the need to make my burden lighter and asked for help in setting down all the parts that will not be with me on the next part of the trip.I climbed in bed- blankets to my chin, pillows over and under my head, with Mozart's incredible work in my ears- and I sobbed and released and dreamed of how light I was going to feel when I woke up.My new life has begun, the old life fades from view. I have no need or desire to go back, to dwell on what was or might have been. May the bright and happy times stay with me always, may the rest fade from view... forever, but I pray the lessons learned will help me each day for the rest of my life.That the cast of characters in my life changes day-by-day. Some who I 'knew' would provide loving support have disappointed. Others who have only been in the distant background have proven to be wise old friends.But the category that pleases me the most are the new people, both men and women who have crossed my path in a variety of ways.People who from almost the first instant have shown themselves to be huge, important parts of my 2nd 1/2.There is no room in my belief system to allow that it was just my lucky good fortune to have them walk-in at the perfect moments.People who 'get me' who see in me, something more than I've ever allowed myself to see when I look in the mirror.While 55 years of habit and conditioning do not disappear overnight, I see a different person when I look in the mirror and probably for the 1st time- I can honestly say that I'm beginning to like what I see.The light bulbs that come on now on a regular basis, Illuminate the illusion I used to hold as true.  I see now that in the past, I doubted the sincerity of a compliment or acknowledgement of a job well done because it was largely the opposite of what I held as my truth for many interior and exterior voices had worn away my belief in myself, and had helped me paint a very limited, distorted, damaged picture of who I was.Now I'm starting on new canvas and with the help of many keen observers- and a commitment to myself to see the REAL me, as I redefine my new life, I'm learning to trust.. myself and others as they hold up the mirror to show me who I really am.I will be grateful for the rest of my life to these reality based angels.

Surrender, Ask, Believe, Receive.

Some years ago I reached a point in my life where I wasn't sure things could get a lot more challenging.  My real estate business was an accurate reflection of my bad attitude and lack of direction, but also a reflection of a market that had 'corrected' so dramatically it looked and felt like a total crash.In the days leading up to this moment, I had accepted a 2nd shift job at a call center near my home that would allow me to keep the lights on and some food on the table.  It was a job that my son had done in high school.  I was scheduled to begin work the next day.  It was a very humbling place to be.I was seriously at risk of becoming a foreclosure statistic, and frankly was having a difficult time finding a shit to give about it, or much of anything else.  Not my proudest moments, not a situation I would wish on anyone, not a stretch of the journey that I care to re-visit, EVER!One morning I was reflecting on all of that and more, when it occurred to me that it might be time to ask for help, to surrender my need to drive the bus and my now obvious false-belief that I could single handedly muscle through anything and everything that I encountered in my life.I went to my meditation space.  I lit my candles, put on some music, assumed my position on the rug and got very quiet. I focused on my breathing and then had the most direct conversation with the Creator that I'd ever had.  To call it direct is a bit of an understatement actually.It was the type of conversation I'd be inclined to have only inside, hoping that the bolt of lightening that might want to strike me, might be stopped if I was in the house.  But it may have been the most open, honest, no nonsense conversation ever!I started by explaining my current struggle, (like my conversation partner did not already know all of it). I admitted that I realized that I'd done everything I knew how to do, and that clearly of myself, I was not able to 'fix' the situation.So I 'explained' that I knew I was not put here to live in that state, that I was no longer willing to live in that way, and that I was handing back control, that I was surrendering my life and situation to a higher power.  Without any attachment to the outcome, I stated loud and clear... 'Here's the deal, fix it or take me home, I really don't care which way this goes!"  I've never in my life meant words more than those.That conversation complete, I shaved, showered, dressed and headed out for a meeting at the Grand Rapids Association of Realtors.  In hindsight, I think that my mood had shifted considerably, but I was no longer focused on anything but the activities of the moments I was living.As I left that meeting, I called the broker I was associated with at the time, to inform him of a positive outcome of the meeting.Unbeknownst to me, he had just completed the buyout of his last partner and was now the sole owner of the company.  After I congratulated him on that purchase, he went on to say that he was intending to call me that day.  He asked if I was available to meet for a drink.We met late afternoon and over a cocktail or two, he explained that as he was in the negotiation stage of the buy out, he had been looking at what the company needed in terms of skills and personnel to take the it in the direction he wanted it to go.  He went on to say that as he explored those needs with some of his upper level managerial staff, it was pointed out to him that I possessed every skill set he was seeking.  We talked specifically about what he wanted and needed.  He went on to offer me a part-time (to start) position within the leadership of the company.  He laid out a salary level that was acceptable and we agreed upon a starting date.I was over the moon excited. It was a company that I'd been with for over 10-years, I believed that with my experience I would be able to help him achieve his goals while at the same time taking a great deal of stress off my life.As I was driving away, I looked skyward and sent up a big thank you!  I marveled at how quickly and powerfully my call for help had been answered.  Answered from a direction I had never imagined.I worked in that position, which went from part-time to full time in about 20-minutes,  for over two years, and found the work to be satisfying and challenging.  We made significant changes, most of them for the good.I believe it served me and the company well to have me in that position, until it no longer did.  But that is another story for another time.This is not a part of my history that I've previously shared, except occasionally with close friends, face to face.  But it was a powerful turning point in my life that remains with me today.  The knowledge that despite my strong desire to be self-sufficient, to be the driver of my own bus, there are times that I actually don't need to break my back to carry the load.There are those who are seen and unseen, who if asked will throw their shoulder to the task and help me to produce marvelous outcomes.To this day, I sometimes need to be reminded of that fact.  I cannot tell you the number of clients that I've challenged to ask for the help they need, trusting that it is always available to them, just for asking.That whole surrender, ask, believe, receive thing... seems like something I can rely on.

Revisiting the process as I stroll forward..

I'm reading a book I picked up a month or so ago when I attended the Hay House Writers Workshop in Chicago.Nancy Levin was one of the keynote speakers that weekend.  She had a compelling story to tell about her life, her writing process, along with a good dose of humor and insight for those of us in the room who aspire to be published authors.I enjoyed her talk enough that I bought a copy of her book:  "jump... and your life will appear"Over the last few days, I've begun to read and work with the ideas that Nancy shared and the frank and honest disclosures she makes about her life have once again caused me to reflect back on mine.Those who know me likely know that I'm a touch prone to overthink almost any situation, and like most of us walking around on legs, I seldom hold back in my criticism and harsh treatment of myself.  This time though, my approach to myself seems to be a bit kinder.  Not totally without a touch of regret here and there, but not the beat myself bloody type of self abuse that used to be quite common.THAT is an awareness I celebrate!  It appears to be possible to learn from past choices and then move on with gratitude for what those situations taught me about myself and about the people and world around me.In the opening pages of the book, there is a small segment on forgiveness.  When I read it, I really laughed to myself, as it served as the final reminder that forgiveness has been on my  mind over the last several weeks.  As my thoughts would turn to forgiveness, there would be a few faces and/or situations that would present to me (again) as if to say "we're not quite there yet!" or, "you thought you'd finished with me, but there's still a bit more that needs your attention here!".The places where it appears more might be needed were not a surprise to me in the least.  However, there were some faces and names that did not present that I would have likely expected to need to revisit.But as I looked at the people and events that was no longer on the needs attention list, I realized that I was in a good and peaceful place, and felt like the process that was needed had been successfully completed.As it often is, the timing is pretty much perfect.  I've been excavating through old files, old writings, old journals as I mine for what has already been written that feels like it is a part of the 1st book.  (working title:  "The Road to Happyville, hence the name for this blog section of my website).  Over the last 7 or 8 years, there are a stack of journals that chronicle my life.  There are tales from the journey that as I re-read them make me thankful for every step along the way, each person who stepped in to play the role we had agreed they would play and then either became important, ongoing parts of my life or stepped away upon the completion of what was needed.I've said before that I've become the man I am because of the experiences I've had, the people who have helped teach me what I wanted/needed to learn.  The people who have lifted me up, the people who have attempted to extinguish my light and wear down my resolve.It is this last group that I am likely the most thankful for.  Though I prefer to interact with the others in my daily life.  The ones who I perceived as being evil, unnecessarily harsh, nasty and hateful helped bring me to a place where I was no longer willing to accept their inaccurate vision of who I am.  I was no longer willing to roll over and play dead rather than standing proudly with the knowledge that I have skills and gifts and an important part to play in life.Some helped me to see that I'm not a total dumb ass, (though occasionally I can still act like one), others that while I'm happy to carry the load and help in most any way I can, I'm nobody's roadie...that while I don't need the spotlight to shine only on me, I am not willing to stand backstage in the shadows until the show is over.I've lived enough years to know that there's great truth in the idea that when the student is ready, the teacher appears.  Also, that every person and situation we experience is something we invited, one way or another, and if we are honest as we look at each and every one, there is value to be gained.So, as my reading of old writings is reminding me of tools and processes that were so incredibly powerful and helpful as I needed them that I forgot about them.  It's also reminding me of where I've been, the journey I've walked, the way some of my old, very harsh feelings for people and situations that have come and gone, on the overall, I'm good with who I am and where I am.That said, it is once again time to reactivate some of those tools and do what could be the final little bits of clean up relative to a few people and situations who I've allowed myself to hold onto a bit of frustration.My assessment of the amount of work that is needed on these very few situations is that it's fast and easy.  But that does not diminish in the least the importance of completion.If you're interested, many of the tools I'll be putting back into action are on my website at RedefiningSuccess.net under the FREE TOOLS section.Help yourself, because by doing that, you will truly be helping yourself.Blessings!

"Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone." ~ Robert Allen author of "The One Minute Millionaire"

Like any business, it's important for me to grow my network.  To expand my base and to make sure that more and more people become aware of the work that I do, and the results my clients are achieving with my help.So when my friend and business partner, Dr. Dave Hillis showed me the e-mail from Jo-Anne Eadie the head of the Canadian Hypnotherapy Conference in Toronto later in 2016 I was both excited and uncomfortable.You see, she was seeking people who were interested in making 1-hour presentations about their work at the Conference.  The deadline was fast approaching, which is probably a good thing because didn't have time to talk myself out of submitting a proposal.I didn't have time to question what I could possibly bring to the table for other professional hypnotherapists that could help them to be more impactful in the work they do.  No time to let my comfort zone rein me in and keep me hidden.So, I submitted my proposal and was promptly accepted.  With months to go to fine tune my presentation, Dr. Dave and I talked about doing a joint, 2-hour presentation and let Jo-Anne know that if she needed additional sessions, we'd be happy to do that.Holy Toledo (or perhaps I should say Holy Toronto!) , she said yes!Concepts are swirling, images are flowing, and I'm laying out materials, powerpoint type presentation, deciding what materials I should take, and collaborating with Dr. Dave on training schedules that we want to announce while we are there to sign up people for some of the advanced training we are doing, and the new things we're almost ready to roll out.The slight stress of my venture out of my normal comfort zone had subsided, when another e-mail came in from Jo-Anne offering the opportunity to do a 1-hour interview with Suzie Bowers from HypnoProfessional.com. They have an online radio show The Hypno Power Hour, and Suzie had generously offered to use her program to reach her audience to help promote the Conference.Suzie made the interview process easy and even fun.  And now, she's got almost all the interviews ready for prime time and will be e-mailing them out to her subscribers in the weeks to come.  (If you'd like to receive them, you can sign up at the link for Hypno Power Hour above).After my interview is run, I'll get an MP3 copy of it that I'll be able to post on my website.So as I type this, I'm asking myself, a lot of questions.  Chief among them is the WHY? question.  Why am I sharing all this in my blog.There are several answers.   I am committed to do what I can to help draw people to the Conference.  Additionally, because Suzie was so generous with her time and audience, I want to spread the word about her website and the work that she does.  But likely more than anything, this blog is about telling stories with the hope that something I've experienced and chosen to share will strike a chord with someone who is reading the material to challenge them to step through their self-imposed boundaries that might be keeping them from a richer, juicier enjoyment of life.Lord knows, I've got a lot of rules.  I expect a lot of myself, and of the people in my life.  Sometimes I wonder if my expectations are realistic, and then I remember that Norman Vincent Peale quote;“Shoot for the moon.Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.”What are the areas where you have limited yourself unnecessarily?  Are there walls you've built that it might be time to tear down?  I'd love to hear about your plans, your goals, your successes, and if you would like to have a conversation about any of it, I'd welcome that opportunity as well.

Audio Blog- The Road Ahead

I located some of the written material that is mentioned in the recording above.Written in Mazatlan Mexico 7 or so years ago."Like so many days in the past 4-years, today promises to be remarkable.  I suspect that I will realize as the sun sets into the Pacific- that even if I don't leave this lounge chair today (which is highly likely), that I will have travelled a remarkable distance. Even if nothing seemingly important transpires today, ti will have been a remarkable day."_______________________So among the many parts of my interesting journey, I've come to the realization of how I've 'settled', how I have limited myself and my outcomes- and the daily reminders that in the 2nd 1/2 of my life, it is critical that I remain totally open to the miracles that are readily available to me.I have developed over many decades, an image of myself that is so very limited- so very diminished, so very unworthy.  Part of my current work is to SMASH that inaccurate mirror (think fun-house mirror that reflects the opposite of what you really are).  And then to install a new mirror that is accurate- is also unwilling to allow me to see things that are not there.  A mirror that will say "Oh wait Eric, you need to look deeper- you need to take off your old lenses that misinterpret and distort what you see!"Look at yourself with a charitable eye.  There is no upside to approaching your image with a machete!"_________________So as I continue to travel the Road to Happyville, I'm beginning to realize that the destination I once thought was far away, down difficult paths, that required skill tests, jousting and perhaps even a sword fight or two is actually within me, and guess what?  It always has been.  Talk about a mind blowing concept!  That at every moment of every day of my life, I could have chosen to look inside and despite whatever situation I thought I was in, regardless of the pain, anger, disappointment, frustration I perceived, it was all an illusion of my own creation and had I reached in and flipped the switch, the tracks would have shifted and I would have seen Happyville as the illusion vanished.I don't believe that this means that it was unnecessary for me to have the experience of the aforementioned illusions-clearly without those illusions, I may never have come to my realization about my interior Happyville.Is Happyville really something entirely different?  Is it really a peaceful place where I am in the presence of the indwelling Creator?  I think that it is.So what an interesting turn of events this is. Going from happiness as a concept external to my being, through happiness as a part of my core- that is always with me- always accessible no matter what, and ultimately on to the realization of that which I formerly defined in such limited human terms is now a part of me.  The Universal Intelligence. The Creator.  Source. Wow, does that change my perception of who I am, who you are and how the world works.So if Happyville is an inside place, if it really is Creator, have I known this on some level and ignored it? Or have I just now processed through enough to see where the road signs pointed?What are the implications of knowing that Happyville/Creator are within?  What does that suggest relative to health? To prosperity?  To love?  At first glance, it appears to suggest that the talk of 'no limits' of 'ye are all Gods' isn't just hyperbole- it appears that those could be the law of the land in Happyville.Then I think about all I've read that in many different ways challenge me to find my happiness within- to go within to find peace- that meditation is the key... and now I see all of those as directional signs, but because they were written in a language I did not speak, I wasn't able to get full advantage from them then."Click Here to listen to the talk

Thoughts from the movie The King's Speech.

More buried treasure from the Eric archives.This was written to myself back in 2010, during the time where I was post divorce, and pre-meeting and marrying Beth.  It was a time of self-evaluation and self-discovery.  A time of learning, and growing and healing.I recognize in re-reading this 6-years later, that almost all of what I wrote as a 'looking forward to' is now a part of my reality.  It begs the question of whether there is a connection between, having the intention, writing it down and welcoming it into my life.There have been many wonderful teachers along the way.  Some who presented their agreed upon material and exited my life.  Some exited of their choice, others of mine.  (as it should be).  I'm grateful to each one, but would be less than honest if I didn't disclose that it took me some time, in some cases to get to the place of gratitude. :)__________________________________In 2010, there was a move "The King's Speech". It was a well done, incredibly powerful movie. I watched it multiple times... and looked for some truth, some lessons that applied to me and my life.Here's some of what I wrote down, in case there's any value for you.Some of these were lines delivered to the King by Geoffrey Rush's character:"You cannot be afraid of what happened when you were 5!""Talk to me like I'm the only one in the room Say it to me like you're talking to a friend.""Why are you afraid of your voice- you have a RIGHT to your voice.""If I am not afraid , if I claim my voice, I am back in my power." said by the King.For me, the Geoffrey Rush character was the voice of God.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Looking at my take-aways from the movie got me thinking, and writing.How do these thoughts resonate with you?The realization that I have spent my life making sure that everyone else has  gotten what they need- (parents, spouse, siblings, kids, clients, friends, business organizations that I belonged to, church and spiritual organizations I belonged to) and have never really looked at what I needed.I accepted whatever small tokens of thanks like a puppy. I strove to be a 'good boy' by being of service and making very few demands.How did I come to perceive myself to be of such limited value?  How did I come to deny my own needs and desires to be of secondary importance?  How did I come to be satisfied with scraps of affection, of 'left over' scraps of time and energy?More importantly- how do I find MY voice? My worthiness? My power?  What do I do to come to a new understanding of who I am?  What I want? What I need?  How do I project the new minimum acceptable standards to those in my life?How do I turn the corner to a joyful, fulfilling, love filled life?First, is the realization that I have great value. Period.  I do not need to DO anything to be OK, good, great. My joy, for the most part has come from being helpful to others.  But, I've never seriously looked at where my true joy comes from.So the mission now, is to look for the roots of MY joy.  MY JOY!  And to embrace it fully.I enjoy:Beautiful MusicLake Michigan SunsetsDigging in the DirtAmazing Food and BeveragesNice SurroundingsTravelAttending Cultural EventsFine DiningMy Son and DaughterBeautiful FlowersInteresting MoviesA Day of BrowsingTorontoChicagoMazatlanFriendsI look forward to:Having a loving partner- and equal to share time, love, and my bed with.Waking up in her arms with a big smileFeeling her passion and unconditional love and support.Feeling my passion, unconditional love and support of her.My life is VERY good!  I have no regrets for choices made. I've never been in a better place.I want to be mindful at all times for how blessed my life is."________________It is my intention by sharing these glimpses of my thoughts and my life, that someone will see thoughts and words that help them move forward in their journey.Blessings!

Do you remember the idea that when you point your finger at someone, there are three pointing back.... yea, that!

A number of years ago, I was pretty frustrated with great big pieces of my life.  I had always found that sitting down with pen and paper could help me clarify my thinking, vent my frustration and sometimes in the process have moments of clarity about ways to shift my thinking in good and productive ways.So the Observations written below, were actually aimed at someone else.  They contained a large helping of anger and frustration... but an interesting thing happened as I read and re-read them.  The realization of the old adage of three fingers pointing back, when you're pointing one... combined with the idea that everything that presents in your life, is there to mirror back to you something about yourself made me go hmmmm.OBSERVATIONS

1. For each person, the mission is to IMPROVE YOURSELF. However, if you are focusing on all that is wrong with everyone or everything around you, you will not see the things about yourself that you could or should improve upon.

2. When you start to believe that everyone you encounter in your world is a Jerk, it’s time to evaluate what you see in the mirror.

3. You can never be TOO KIND or TOO GENTLE.

4. If you continually push everyone in your life away from you, it will get easier and easier because they will gradually stop coming back.

5. If you put down all the baggage you carry from your childhood, your children, your job, your spouse, you will probably have more energy at the end of the day to enjoy the beauty that could be your life.

6. There is no situation that cannot be made worse by behaving badly about it.  (THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE!)

7. If you do not begin to appreciate and respect the people in your life, and all the good in your life, you will turn into an old, bitter, sickly person who no one can stand to be around.  They will choose to not be around you.

8. All the ugliness that you refuse to let go of collects within you.  The ugliness multiplies and festers. At some point and in some way, it has to come out. God help the person who gets to wear what comes out.

9. It has been said that you will about as happy as you make up your mind to be.  Those are truly words to live by.  Everything in your life is a result of the choices you have made.  If you do not like what you see in your life, change the way your think about your life.  Examine yourself to see what you are doing, what you are choosing, what you are thinking, to invite into your path the things you find there.

And then… LET IT GO!Written 2/12/2016

Some reflections on the ocean

Because I'm a very lucky man, I'm sitting on our balcony overlooking the Atlantic Ocean as I write this.  It's an 80 degree, partly cloudy day with a nice breeze coming in off the ocean.Earlier this morning, I took my 2.5 mile walk up and down the beach... partly for some exercise, but also for a bit of walking meditation, some conversation with the ocean (Universe, God, whomever it is, I talk to in those moments.)You see, big water, whether it's Lake Michigan close to home, or one of the oceans, has a tendency to take my breath away.  I am in awe of the beauty, the power and the lessons that are seemingly contained there.  If fact, it would not be at all an overstatement for me to say that I NEVER feel closer to SOURCE than I do with my feet in the sand while the waves wash over me.I stopped at one point today, and stood facing the ocean.  I stretched out my arms to open my heart and to take in all that was in front of me.As I scanned the horizon, I said outloud... "you are so beautiful!" and heard "and so are you!"  then I said "You are so incredibly powerful!" and heard "and so are you!"The realization that like everything that presents to me in my life is a mirror, showing me what I like and don't like about myself, reflecting back to me who I am and where I am in any moment floated in, and I was in awe.So as I walked along, my thoughts flitted around a bit, like the little birds that were dodging the waves while trying to grab whatever goodies the surf had delivered.But mostly, they were thoughts of the aspects of the ocean, the aspects of the world we live in, and the parallels to my life.Here are some of the thoughts that floated through and likely some questions that those thoughts raised.The ocean is BEing what it was created to BE.The ocean goes with the flow.  It does not appear to be trying to be anything other than what it is.The surface might appear to be very calm, or slightly agitated, or incredibly churned up, but that is only the surface.While I cannot be positive, I would bet that under the surface, regardless of what the surface is showing me, there are incredible currents and perhaps even larger power than the surface waves generate.Also under that surface is an infinite amount of life.  plants are growing and all manner of sea creatures are living and dying, trying to not be consumed by the larger, hungrier sea creatures.And if the message I believe I received about all of that being a reflection of who I really am... I may need to take a slightly different view of what I see when I look in the mirror.So, the questions that rose up were things like...How would my outcomes be different, if, rather than seeing myself as small and unimportant, I saw myself as majestic and powerful?And If I were able to ALLOW myself to just BE who I was created to be, what would be different?And what would I be DOING as that highest version of myself?And what would I not be doing, that I currently do?If I continue the image of all of the life swirling and swimming below the surface of the ocean, what sort of energy and life is swimming within me?  What can I do to make certain that it is an incredibly healthy environment for that energy and life to be of the highest possible  quality?With each step I took, I realized that the grains of sand, shifted to absolutely conform to the shape of my foot.  That every molecule of my foot was completely and totally supported.  That every step of my journey has the full support of the Universe.This is an image that I use with clients every week.  But to experience it in real time, with real sand was beautiful and compelling.So my point in sharing these thoughts today is as a reminder to myself, that the only limits I have are self-imposed.  That there is enormous power when I get out of the way and live as the being I was created to be.If it's true for me, I would suggest that it is also equally true for you.So as I continue to walk.. I will attempt to hold the image of the ocean (whether I'm right here beside it, or back at home).. and remember that every step is fully supported, and that when I stop striving to be better, when stop delaying my joy until some artificial goal is met, when I just walk and talk, and live and love and laugh and cry as the man that I am, everything else will as if by magic fall beautifully into place.I wish no less than that for you!Blessings!

Once it attacks... it can never be trusted again... a gall bladder tale

A couple of months ago as the days and weeks were flying by, seemingly faster and faster, an awareness floated in again that I was carrying more anger, more frustration, less patience than might be ideal.So once again, I began the process of releasing, forgiving, recognizing that every person and situation that presented itself to me was there at my request, presenting what I needed in that moment (whether I recognized it or liked it or not).And just when I was feeling good about the awareness and my belief that I was being pro-active in dealing with my life, I got a bit of a Universal 2x4 wakeup call.On a Friday evening, at the end of a busy but uneventful week, my body staged a coup.  Digestive system discomfort the likes of which I'd not experienced before (though hindsight being 20/20, I realized later that there had been a previous, milder episode or two that I had blown off as something that did not need any attention).This time, my body was not going to take ignore as a possibility... so when on Saturday afternoon I was still uncomfortable, Beth and I made the cross-town trip to the Metro ER where they gave me a shot that had me comfortable and perhaps a bit goofy within  minutes... they poked, prodded and performed an ultrasound to confirm the Dr.'s initial belief that my body was under attack from my gall bladder.Diagnosis confirmed, they instructed me to call a surgeon on Monday and sent me home with some additional meds to keep me comfortable.A couple of days later, the surgeon strongly urged me to have the offending gall bladder removed asap.  I agreed, knowing that once my gall bladder attacked me and laid me out for the weekend, it could never be trusted again.  So surgery was scheduled for the following Monday.As I'm prone to do, I spent a good part of the week looking at the situation for the lessons I suspected were being presented.  I looked for what in my thoughts and beliefs might have contributed to creating this outcome.At some point, it occurred to me that I had been fairly galled in many areas of my life, despite living a life that is rich with blessings, and I know it.  This was more confirmation of the need for continued work to adjust my attitude, my approach, my expectations, and some release and forgiveness work.The morning of the surgery, as I was preparing myself, the surgical team and space with Reiki I became aware of an additional opportunity that this surgery presented.  So I set an intention and communicated it to the thoughts, beliefs, anger and frustration that I was carrying, that there was a bus leaving my body that morning, and I wanted them on it.Any thoughts or beliefs that did not support my highest good. Any and all people and situations where I was holding a grudge where forgiveness was needed.. and on it went.  I visualized the gathering in the area of soon to be gone gall bladder... and expressed my gratitude for the cooperation of all involved.From my standpoint, the surgery came off without a hitch.  All of the medical professionals were great!  They took outstanding care of me from start to finish.When I came out of my drug induced stupor Beth was there, and extremely stressed.  She told me that the surgery had taken almost twice as long as had been estimated and that delay had her pretty stressed and worried.But from she heard from the surgeon, it seems that when the he made the normal incisions and had the camera and equipment in place, they discovered a most unusual (and large) gall stone.  It was a size and shape he'd not seen before, and and the surface of it was apparently covered in a large number of smaller gall pebbles that had joined the party.  (sound familiar?)It was stubborn in being removed, and required the incision to be expanded... and a bit more tugging and pulling that was routine.My mind went to my shout out to all the aspects that I wanted out of my body...and the order that they get on the bus that was leaving.. and it was almost like each of those pebbles probably had a name or a situation attached to them.As my thinking became clearer, I realized that overall, I felt incredible.  Lighter, more peaceful.. so I took a little mental inventory of the people and situations that a few hours before had galled me... and felt nothing but neutral...and as the days have worn on, I'm finding that gentler state has remained.At my 10-day, post surgery followup, I quizzed the surgeon about the somewhat unexpected gallstone.  He confirmed, almost word-for-word what Beth had told me...he confirmed that he'd not seen anything quite like that before.So I offered up for his consideration what I've shared above.  From his facial expression and body language, I believe that my understanding and explanation may have been something he hadn't encountered or considered before.  But, given the gallstone collection he'd removed, the likes of which he'd not seen before, it seemed to make sense.For me, whether he did or did not disagree was not of great significance.  That he described 'my creation' in a way that made perfect sense to me and would likely have been the result of the intention I set was enough.That post surgery, the changes that I felt were well beyond changes that the absence of a rogue gall bladder could create was most telling.Then I realized that even if I'd not been undergoing surgery that morning, I could have  had the exact same outcome just by the realizations, the intention and the release.So if I might, I'll make a suggestion.  If you find yourself a bit galled by aspects of your life, it might be a good idea to be more pro-active than I was in the neutralizing and elimination areas.  It could save you the time, trouble, expense and pain of having to have the outcome surgically removed.Blessings! Written 10/9/2014