The "stuff" we were taught by well meaning adults that we get to re-evaluate and purge as needed.

Nearly every hypnosis client I've seen over the years has to one degree or another, come with a set of erroneous beliefs or  programming that was installed by parents, teachers, ministers, friends, extended family and some was even self-installed.

But in one way or another, left in the original form, without evaluation, updating or removal, much of it has outlived the useful purpose that was intended by well-meaning people who truly believed that it was information or beliefs needed to become a good, upstanding, productive member of society.

I am a very firm believer that almost without exception a person, regardless of the situation they grew up in, can, over time overcome nearly any damage done.  But of course, in order for there to be change, there has to be change.In my own life, whether it was the message being sent, or just the message I received (recognizing that they can be completely different),

l arrived with some core beliefs that even today, are somewhat challenging for me. As I sit on the balcony, overlooking the Atlantic, typing, I'm driven to 'be productive'.  Never mind that I'm 66-years old and am on a 2-month snowbird vacation.  I have a NEED to be productive. 

I KNOW that it is about the false notion that if I am not engaged in productive activity, I have no value.  If I kick back and relax for more than a few minutes, I'm LAZY.    Beyond that there has been another voice in my ear for as long as I remember that no matter what I do, it's not good enough, or perhaps more broadly, it is not enough, therefore, I am not enough.

Take that a little further out, and it becomes "If I am a very good boy (man), I will be loved."  If I am not feeling particularly loved, it then MUST mean, that I a not a very good boy.

Then, because that doesn't make me twitch quite enough, mix in the idea that Food = Love. I've had more than a few clients who in one way or another, got to the point where they wanted a food intervention, because for people in their lives, Food = Love, and to not clean up your plate, not have 2nd (or 3rds) was a rejection of the cook's love.

When that concept first showed up a couple of years ago, it was a great surprise to the client, when he became aware of it, and the impact it had on his life.  But it was also one that (as it often does), made me make a mental note to double back and see how it fit in MY life.

Turns out it fit me to a T....Interestingly, it's a concept that cuts both ways.  By that, I mean that wonderful, well prepared food and the experience of enjoying it in good company with great conversation and much laughter, puts me in a place where I feel loved, even worthy. But in those moments where I am not feeling particularly loved, I find that food has become the filler I used to fill up that hole within myself.It's sort of a fat if I do, fat if I don't proposition.

Does any of this ring true in one form or another in your life?  Or perhaps a better question might be, what are the programs and beliefs that you carry about yourself that no longer serve the person you are, or are striving to become?  And.... what can you do to uninstall or delete those programs and move into a space where you're living more as the best version of you?

While it's still a concept I'm wrestling with, I believe that I'm going to set an intention that day-by-day, I will establish some boundaries on how much of my day is spent on 'work', and dramatically increase the amount of time that I am enjoying the ocean being so ocean like, allowing myself to do whatever I'm moved to do (Including nothing)... and disconnect from the need to be busy.

Perhaps in that process I will find my way to loving myself, for being myself, regardless.  Hopefully, when that hole is filled with love, it won't require so many hummus dipped chips and cookies.I'd love to hear your thoughts.  And, if there is a way, that I might help you with your process, please be in contact.I encourage you to subscribe to my blog, so that you'll receive notification when I sit down and pound some new thoughts into my keyboard.Blessings!