Close calls, near misses, and time bombs....

I've held off over the last months from writing anything here.  In part, the normal, "What do I have to say that anyone wants to hear?", but more than that it's been a time of sorting out lots of stuff in my life. 

I believe progress has been made.. but there is certainly more to do.The daily headlines are all about disease, death, political bullshit from every direction, a crashing economy and the unseemliness that those on the right and those on the left have lost any ability they might have had to work together for the common good, the best interest of the PEOPLE of the world (defined by beating hearts within).

But that's all the virus (or anti-virus) that is running in the background while all else is going on.I am not aware of anyone in my circle who has been directly impacted by the Covid-19 virus, except in the areas economic impact and disruption of normal life, I am grateful for that!

My inbox and Facebook feed though, all too often has news of someone in my circle who is doing battle, winning a battle, or approaching their exit as the opponent is winning.

Today, I heard of the passing of a colleague, a long-time Realtor that I served on the Board of Directors of the Grand Rapids Association of Realtors with, a decade ago.  She was a highly professional, intelligent, insightful, funny, delightful human.Over the last few weeks, I've come to know that an incredible gentleman, with whom I served as an Elder at church is undergoing chemo.

Two additional dear friends had major successful surgeries to remove parts of their original equipment that had become cancerous.  Both of them got great news post-surgery and are likely to enjoy life, post cancer.  That is the image I will continue to hold for them!

My father, who is in his early 90's is apparently showing signs that his exit ramp is coming up before long. One of the people I hold dearest in my heart, a woman who has been my friend for nearly 31-years, a woman I have laughed with, cried with, drank wonderful martinis and wine with, and shared sumptuous food with with is nearing the end of her remarkable life.

With her, the conversations would pick up where we left off, regardless of the passage of time.  The ease in each other's company has always been remarkable.  The depth of conversation unlike any other I've enjoyed in this lifetime.

For me, she was one of the people who could see things in me, that I was unable to see, and loved me enough to call bullshit when that was in order, would hold up a mirror and make me look at it... while lifting me up, encouraging me and showing me a powerful, accurate view of myself.

The current pandemic has made it impossible for me to visit her, to share space and moments together before her life slips away. 

There is a part of me who could feel a little cheated for having those moments taken from me.  There is another part of me that realizes that having me sitting by her bed, crying, might not be what is best for her.  And maybe more importantly, perhaps it's more important for me to hold close in my heart the treasure chest of amazing memories of the times we've shared, rather than witnessing her as her body wastes away, as her incredible mind becomes cloudy.

Lord knows, that for as long as I am blessed to live, there will be moments where her laugh, her wisdom will pop up to remind me of how blessed we were to have the friendship we've enjoyed.   There will be pieces of music that will transport me back in time to treasured memories.She is a one-in-a-million friend.  The differences in our lives would seem to make us unlikely to become such dear friends, and yet we did. But the cool thing... is that I know when she breathes her last breath in this life, it will not be the end of our friendship or our interaction. 

I KNOW that there were several nights, when I was in Florida earlier in 2020 that she visited me.  We had more of those incredible conversations that have defined our friendship.  We were able to express feelings that maybe, in human from, right out loud, would have been difficult to say.While I won't know until it happens (or doesn't), I have a VERY strong belief and feeling that my beautiful friend will pay me a visit from the other side, a visit where I will be able to feel her presence, will be able to have conversations with her, and will actually SEE her.When the day comes, that it is time for me to leave my physical body, I believe and hope that she will be in the 1st circle of loved ones to greet me as I move to the other side.

UPDATE 4/27/2020:I started writing this a week or so ago.  Uncertain if I would ever hit the "Publish" button. However, yesterday afternoon, I received word that my dear friend had completed her journey.  A little while later, I felt her presence beside me, and a light kiss on the cheek. Like nothing I've ever experienced before. So blessed to have know her!